what a fool...

how could I think, how could I feel that these was something special...?I knew all the time that you were not able to love me, not the way I do...I supose you love my body, my lips, I don't know what else, but not my soul, not my heart, not my love, because you don't even know that it exists, you don't even imagine that I feel what I feel, and I can't tell you either... so, what am I suposed to do?...'cose I don't know for how long I will be able to handle these, not because of me, because of my heart...because of my body, it's screaming, it's claiming for your love, "love me back"...but what a fool I am, what a fool my body and what a fool my heart....we all believed in you, but we missed that part in which you said that you weren't able to love someone as a soulmate....I am just an afair for you, you feel that, I know it...but I don't, and it hurts...and so, I keep on asking myself, what am I suposed to do?Am I suposed to cry and wait until you love me?...Am I suposed to tell you what I feel and expect you to tell me that you feel the same but you couldn't tell me neither? what the hell should I do?...those are the words swimming inside my head, those are the ones I can not take out...but the worst part is that I can not find an answer for them, so I shouldn't expect them to leave...I don't know what to do, that's quite clear, but should I do something?or should I stay standing waiting for an answer, a signal, or something that could help me?what a fool I am, thinking that I could handle these mess by my own, what a fool I am, knowing that I can't handle my feelings, they control me...so, what should I do?shall I cry?shall I laugh?shall I die?